Battle Maid Cafe
Primal Ultros
Empyreum
Ward 12 Plot 52Light: MSS-27M7MLAC2RKV
BattleMaidPlayerSync: Broadcasting
Open Monday and Friday nights
from 8pm-10pm Eastern time zone
Welcome to the maid cafe. Come relax and enjoy a beautiful atmosphere, delicious food, and friendly service. We love to play games, talk with you, and even do some prize giveaways!We offer a nice selection of food and drinks for you to choose from that are homemade from us personally.We hope that you have an amazing time whether this is your very first visit or you are a seasoned regular. We want to make your time with us the best.
Our Staff
Should you wish the company of any of our maids, please send them a request. Many love to sit on laps, or keep our beloved customers company. Just keep "adult" stuff private, please.
Astanya is our head maid and the leader of the battle maids. She takes quality control of hot chocolate very seriously, and rumor has it she enjoys soft laps to sit on.
Zynnia is our chef (super cute, isn't she?) and prepares the tastiest treats and most delicious drinks. She's shy, to stop by the kitchen to say hi. After all, she deserves love too.
Myrian is our other chef (ALSO super cute. Maybe cuteness is requirement for chef position?) and is Zynnia's darling sister. Yes, she is protected by a floating shark. Be warned...the shark is extra huggable! Myrian is trapped in the kitchen. Are you able to rescue her from captivity? Only the most amazing customer could take her away.
Verelia is a beautiful woman who loves to serve you. Her enthusiasm and cuteness are highly contagious. She loves hugs (hint hint). I hear rumors that she will take on any challenger in a duel. So if you think you have what it takes, talk to her! (Warning: "Duel" may have multiple meanings...)
Dyve is the cutest Viera ever. Be sure to adore her, as she adores you. She's not only a great maid, but also one of the wives of the head maid. Beautiful and sweet. I recommend licking her. Just ask first. And yes, before you ask, she really is cool enough to wear sunglasses indoors.
Taraji is a kitty with a passion for headpats. She loves to bring you food and drinks and hopes you'll reward her service with a tender ear scratch. She is also one of the wives of our darling Head Maid.
Sharr is Claire two parts beauty and one part grace, and seventeen parts shy. Please be extra gentle and sweet to her, and you will not be disappointed. Rumor has it she is equally talented at giving out treats as she is at taking down evil monsters.
Imeille is a waitress who truly cares for those she serves. She will listen to anything you have to say, and be ready to deliver you a treat worthy of your taste buds. She is also very happy to give you company (especially in the hot tubs located in the basement).
Shina is a super cute Elezen. Have you seen those legs? AMAZING!!! She loves to fight evil beings and has been known to add evil customer to a "secret menu". On a completely unrelated note, be sure to ask her for a Shina Special.
Hiro has been called the "Cutest Ever". Please let her know if you think her cuteness is 10/10. Or higher. Rumor has it she was once called a 382/10. Think she's even more cute? Will she break the cute scale even more? Perhaps you don't like to listen to rumors? Or were you the one who started the rumor? No matter, her cuteness is evident to all.
Our Rules
We only ask that you respect your hosts and your fellow patrons by not spamming the chat, or saying anything inappropriate or rude.While we are an NSFW venue, we ask that you keep all erp to private chat only. While cuddles and glams are allowed, not everyone wants to see the action. Please keep it to party chat and tells. Thank you.Also...We kindly request that you don't question our motivation to battle... If you ask about battles, we will not be held responsible for any mayhem that may ensue ;)Actually... say "battle". Please? We really want you to. The above request was sarcasm, in the hopes that you do actually ask us about battles or say the word "battle". Please? Pretty please with rolanberry cheesecake on top?
Our Menu
All our food and drinks are free. We serve because we love to serve.
Food
Almond
Cream Croissant
There are almonds in the creamy paste, and almonds on the croissant. So maybe we should call it an almond cream almond croissant? No, that would be silly. Either way, this croissant is delicious.
Apple tart
Tart like a little mini pie, not tart like a bitter taste. It tastes sweet. Make sure you realize just what type of tart you are ordering. A yummy, sweet little mini pie for one. Made with apples.
Baguette
A nice long loaf of bread. That’s right, the whole loaf. Great for making a really big sandwich, or for using as a club to defend that cheesecake you’ve ordered to go with this from everyone else in the café.
Cheese Souffle
A light and fluffy egg dish, with a tasty blend of cheeses for fragrant flavor. It tastes like a delicious cloud. But we haven’t had any float up to the sky in at least two days.
Crumpet
Somewhere between a pancake and a biscuit. This is a thick, flat, savory cake with a soft, porous texture, cooked on a griddle. Topped with butter. Think of it as really fancy toast. So fancy, maybe we should have it come with a monocle?
Coffee Biscuit
A buttery biscuit with a subtle coffee flavor. Perfect to accompany any beverage as a nice light snack. Very much like a cookie. Those popular ones with chocolate chips in them. But this isn’t one of those, despite the fact that there these do have chocolate chips in them. Not the same thing at all.
Finger Sandwich
Made fresh with our very own fingers. That is to say, we used our fingers to make them. I mean, we made them with our fingers. Look, no fingers in the sandwich, only to hold the ingredient and put them together. But fingers are not an ingredient!
Ginger Cookie
This cookie was originally made by a famous movie star named Ginger, before she went on a three hour cruise and disappeared. Now made by our maids, this cookie is sweet and spicy. Looks like the black mage who is said to have recovered magic power by eating these.
Honey Muffin
“Hey honey, can I get a muffin?” These are made with honey, by a cute honey, who we all like to call honey. Not to be confused with everyone else we call honey. Would you like one, honey?
Rolanberry Cheesecake
You get a whole cheesecake. Not just a slice. But we do slice it so it’s easier to eat. Most cafés would just give you a slice, but not us. We deliver the whole thing, because you deserve it.
Rolanberry Cheese
Rolanberry cheesecake without the cake. Or it is cheese with the rolanberries? Or is it berries with rolan and cheese added? Well, whatever it is, it is tasty and creamy.
Sohm Al Tart
A mountain of a treat that resembles a mountain peak. This one is made with chocolate cream, with a tiny little chocolate bonbon on top. The legend holds that devouring the mountain will grant you fortune, so we made it possible to consume the mountain. No rocks though. They don’t sit well in the tummy, and are too crunchy.
Drinks
Apple Juice
No apples were harmed in the …. Actually, we squeezed the life juices out of the apples and made a beverage out of them. So I guess this is what is left of dead squeezed apples. Kinda gruesome. I hope you like this drink. We make it fresh, so if you hear any apples screaming for their lives, don’t blame us. It’s all your fault.
Pineapple Juice
We squeezed the life juices out of the pineapples and ... wait, this is sounding familiar. Yes, dead pineapples. Nothing to worry about. I don't think they scream as much as the apples do. But if you find any pines in there, remember, you ordered your apple juice to have the pines attached!
Chamomile Tea
A hot and refreshing beverage with a delicate fragrance. No letters in it, despite the name. If there were letters, it would be alphabet soup. Fun fact, Tea is the 20th letter of the alphabet. Ok, well, maybe that wasn’t fun, but it is a fact.
Triple Cream Coffee
That’s right. Not just cream, not just double cream, but triple cream. We spare no cream for your coffee. Three types of cream! Light cream, heavy cream, and whipped cream (Please ignore the sounds of agony coming from the cows). And this is not a biscuit, but a beverage. The biscuit is earlier on the menu. They go well together though, so we recommend ordering both.
Hot Chocolate
Rich, creamy, chocolate taste in a hot beverage. A personal favorite of mine. I love to have this when I’m just coming in from the cold winter weather. And here in Ishgard, it’s always cold winter weather. Are you still reading this? Congratulations! You made it to the bottom of the menu! I’m proud of you! You did read it all, didn’t you? I hope so, we worked hard on this menu.
We will not ask for gil for your food and drink purchases, but tips are greatly appreciated!
Our Games
We love games. Please ask your maid to play any of these, or any others you may think of.
Random Prize Drawing
Every guest that enters has a chance to win a random prize drawing. These will be random and one of our maids or butlers will walk up to you and give you a prize!
I spy
The classic game of I spy. Your host will describe something they see within the room and you have to take guesses! Guess correctly within 3 guesses to win a prize. (Ask politely, and the maid may even give a hint. After all, we actually want you to win)
Create a story
The host starts with a word (For example: "The") and the players have to continue the story each saying one word at a time! (Example: "the" "cat" "sat") This is so much fun and will create some hilarious stories. Great with several people.
High or low
Your host will roll their die and get a number, it is than the next players turn to guess if the number they roll will be higher or lower than the hosts number. The guest then rolls, and sees if their prediction is correct. Do this three times in a row to win a prize.
Chase
Your host rolls a random number, and you also roll a random number. Your number has to be within 400 of the number your host rolled. Then you roll again, and you have to be within 200 of the host's original number. You roll a third time and be within 100 of the host's original number. Do so, and you win. SPECIAL: If you ever roll within 50 of the host's original number, then you win right away, no more rolls needed.
Triple Triad
We love to play Triple Triad with you. Ask for a game, and let us see who the victor will be. We hope you win, because we love it when you do win. But we won't go easy on you.
Our gallery
Here we will post pictures from any past events, or just random pictures from your visits. You can check back and see if you are featured here!
A look inside
The outside of our lovely cafe:
The beautiful dining area. Loft seating included:
Our stage for live music and performances:
Plenty of sunlight from our windows during morning hours:
We even have outside seating:
We hope you come to visit us and enjoy the food and entertainment!